After several months of blogging, I realized that I am lacking inspiration and motivation. On this blog, I post a lot of calorie packed meals and desserts with the occasional healthy recipe thrown in. As someone who is constantly on a path to be healthier, this just doesn’t work. I have decided to slowly transition this blog into one that follows my journey to a healthier lifestyle. I plan to post a lot of healthy recipes, tips and tricks that I use to stay on task, and other random life stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I will still be posting some “sinful” treats, but I really want to focus on the direction that my life is going right now. I am not promising a blog that is full of quinoa and vegetables you have never heard of, but a blog that highlights balanced eating.
Here’s my story:
Since I was in middle school, I struggled with my weight. I always loved junk food. From Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips to Sour Punch Straws, I was always stuffing my face with something unhealthy.
My weight didn’t really start bothering me until I was in tenth grade. I noticed that I was gaining weight rapidly due to bad eating and sleeping habits. I remember feeling uncomfortable in my skin and that is when my social anxiety really started. I tried to go on a “diet”, but nothing ever stuck and my weight just increased and increased. I remember family members telling me they would pay me to lose weight and others joking about my weight. I became really self-concious and began hating my body.
When I was a senior in high school, my sister got married. I was the maid of honor so I had to try on bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. None of the dresses fit me and I had a melt down in the fitting room because I felt so bad about myself. That was the moment I decided to take charge of my weight.
That summer I started doing intense workouts everyday and stuck to 1200 calories a day. I would beat myself up if I went over my calorie limit or skipped a workout. I lost 34 pounds that summer. I definitely do not think what I was doing was healthy, but I didn’t care because I was finally happy in my skin.
At the end of the summer, I left for college. The stress of college mixed with all you can eat dinners and late night snacks had a toll on my weight. I no longer worked out and instead ate and studied all night. At the end of my freshman year I had gained all of the weight I lost back and more.
I graduated from college last year and I can tell you that I have not successfully lost weight and kept it off since. I am currently close to my heaviest weight ever. There are some days where I look in the mirror and hate the way I look and sometimes I have to try on 40 outfits to find one that looks ok. I never have one single day that I don’t think about how much I weigh and what I look like.
This month I began my real journey to better health. I know that I need to do this for both my physical and emotional wellbeing. I have been steadily losing weight just by modifying my lifestyle and am already feeling better about who I am and what I look like. My fiancé, David, has joined me on this journey and we hold each other accountable each and every day. I am learning to no longer focused on the number on my scale, but rather how I feel.
My journey is all about balance. There will be days I eat 100% clean and also days I skip my workout and eat a burger and fries for dinner, but that’s ok. I know myself and I know that if I over restrict myself, I will never stick to this lifestyle. On this blog I will share my successes, as well as my failures. I will share my recipes, my tips, and my life.
I hope you stick around,